Let's talk about diarrhea

During the last year I have certainly lost most of my dignity. After having given birth to two children and presenting my most private parts in their worst condition to complete strangers during that process, I really thought my dignity was already damaged enough. But having been forced to talk about my droppings not only with doctors, but with my partner, our children, random pub owners, my husband's ex wife and my boss, it might have reached a level that can not sink any lower.

I don't know why it is so important to share every detail and why a short "I am indisposed" is not enough. So let's talk about it just once - and only once - here too. It is one of the most embarrassing and restrictive side effects of the surgery. 

It is well known that diarrhea always happens when we eat something that our digestive system can't handle or just disagrees with. Bell pepper for example was always something I had to avoid. Or Eggs. Stomach bugs caused diarrhea for me sometimes but that was about it. Now I have nothing else than that. Some of my days start with it. Some days I can last through until the evening and then it happens. There is no guideline or rule that it follows. It is completely random and that is very difficult to deal with, especially when you plan to go somewhere, where there is no toilet. 

I have had walks in the most beautiful nature and drives on the motorway when all of a sudden the nature called. And that's not a gentle knock with plenty of time to find a decent spot, it is a full on blast. When I described it to my surgeon she just shrugged her shoulders and said that this is the price I had to pay to survive and I felt so ungrateful in that moment. I am not, I really am very grateful that I got another chance and can live my extra life now - hopefully as long as possible. Being dependent on my bowel movement wouldn't be this dramatic, it is my family I am worried about.

My children who have to wait in the car for 25 or 30 Minutes in a dubious car park next to travel lodge. My husband who has to juggle two kids and a dog on a walk by himself, telling them that they can't go with mummy exploring and better look at that wonderful butterfly in the other direction. All the days and occasions when I was suffering from cramps and was in the worst pain while they really wanted to go down that slide with me or play hide and seek. That gives me a lot of guilt. 

So yes, diarrhea is something I could certainly live without. I do hope it will get less. I am almost 9 months post surgery now and the cramps and pain certainly improved already. Maybe a combination of medication, diet and patience will do the trick.