I can't eat that, sorry

Once you got the diagnosis of an illness that might kill you and you have been through all the treatment and fought for your life, you see things differently.  I don't care if I arrive somewhere 5-15 minutes late, because my toddler wanted to close his jacket by himself, anymore. I always prefer an extra cuddle by my daughter from an 'important' business call. I have learned that the priorities I had before the diagnosis are actually not important. Time with my family and friends, time for myself, a chat with a colleague at the coffee machine about their new arrived grandchild is so much more important than that one ticket about a printer which does not print. This, of course, has an impact because that printer, which does not print, might be a priority of someone else, who has not gone through a life changing illness and might still think it is more important to get those print outs to marketing within the next 10 minutes and does not want to wait 30 minutes or more. I try...

Everything that is putting pressure on my stomach is unconformable. Unfortunately the pressure that water has is already too much. So the relaxing and comforting bath is neither anymore. Only if I haven't eaten or drunken in a while it is okay but still not comfortable. I really would love a soak but do not like the pressure. So the best time for a bath is the morning. Right after the school run for 20 minutes and then breakfast. 

During the last year I have certainly lost most of my dignity. After having given birth to two children and presenting my most private parts in their worst condition to complete strangers during that process, I really thought my dignity was already damaged enough. But having been forced to talk about my droppings not only with doctors, but with my partner, our children, random pub owners, my husband's ex wife and my boss, it might have reached a level that can not sink any lower. I don't know why it is so important to share every detail and why a short "I am indisposed" is not enough. So let's talk about it just once - and only once - here too. It is one of the most embarrassing and restrictive side effects of the surgery.  It is well known that diarrhea always happens when we eat something that our digestive system can't handle or just disagrees with. Bell pepper for example was always something I had to avoid. Or Eggs. Stomach bugs caused diarrhea for me som...

Dehydration is a real issue for me ever since I started to have real problems swallowing. It was still 2 months till diagnose but eating and drinking was a problem. During chemo I was multiple times in the a&e and on the chemo ward with dehydration, connected to IV fluids. It was a bit better when I finally got my feeding tube as I could put as much water down the pipe as I wanted. My body made a huge sigh of relief in those weeks. Since surgery swallowing and nausea has luckily improved but because of the dumping episodes sometimes two or three times a day, I just can't catch up on the water that my body loses. The real issue here is, that I just can't drink any water anymore. It burns through my intestines and gives me cramps. Only recently I discovered that tea is okay so I stocked up on some fruit and herbal teas. Camomile is my favourite at the moment but the strawberry and raspberry combination is also very nice especially in the evenings. Since I discover...

 A hypo or hypoglycaemia attack is one of the side effects of an oesophagectomy that every patient experiences at least once at some point after the surgery. The first sign is shivering or shaking even though it's not cold. On the contrary you might feel very hot especially in the head, the heartrate increases suddenly and you could feel dizziness or faint. Those are the first symptoms. When you feel like this you better eat some easy processable sugar like fruit sugar (fruit juice or juicy fruits like orange, watermelon or pear) or dextrose (icing sugar, glucose or dextrose tablets and sweets) and sit or lie down.  I always find it more comfortable to sit because when I lie down and have this faint feeling where the whole world turns I am scared I could get sick and this is easier when sitting. When it happens the first few times it can be quite scary. It is important to not panic, it feels dangerous but it is actually not too dangerous. Eating sugary things will help to ease...