I can't eat that, sorry

As expected Christmas was a stressful but wonderful time with little time to eat and lots of dumping and regret because I did not take my time or I ate things I shouldn't.  Today I had a cheeseburger from McDonald's which was okay, after a whole afternoon of regret after a halloumi-tomato-bagel. That's how the days are. But now I am back and I have recovered, at least a bit.  Happy New Year everybody! I'm excited to see what 2024 is giving us. 

 Every year I tell myself not to get into any family disputes, dramas or pre-Christmas-shopping escapades. But again, also this year, that did not work out well so far. There is the occasional drama, the last-minute-shopping fear and the food. The food stresses me out the most, I won't be able to eat anything and won't be able to enjoy what I can eat because I am eating the same stuff every day. One of the reasons why here is not a Post EVERY day, it's just the same. Fitting to that we caught Corona and now there was a week break for me anyway. I have no reserves and my body can't cope with any extra stress. Today is the first day I don't feel completely knackered and would love to do something again. I still need some time on the sewing machine for some presents. And I have to finish the crochet shawl I want to give to a friend. And I still don't have any ideas for my Husband. It was just his birthday so very difficult to find something now.

Christmas is already a challenging time for me anyway as all those hits of fate seem to have happened during Christmas time or made this time really dull. The last person, who made Christmas a holiday to celebrate for me died in 2014 and since then I had nobody really to celebrate it with. Apart from making a great fest for my children of course, personally I had no feelings for Christmas at all. It feels like this will be the first year, when I really would like to celebrate Christmas as I did when I was a child. With baking biscuits, putting up the tree and decorate it together, gazing at the neighbours lights and of course putting some up myself. I went a bit overboard with buying presents this year too.  I think the main reason for that is, that last year I thought that I would have had my last Christmas already. I was 2 days after Chemo last year and could not celebrate anything. Of course I tried for the kids but it was embarrassingly little to no fun for them - or un...